have a merry spanking good Christmas

So I met a guy. He's quite a bit older than I am, I like that in a man. On our first date we were talking and I told him about domestic discipline. Yep, that's right I brought it up on the first date. Well he was very interested in the whole idea but he didn't quite understand. So I directed him to my blog and asked him to read a couple of my favorites that I follow. He did and spent a few hours doing so. Afterwards he wrote the following to show me what he understood...

Understanding a Domestic Discipline (DD) Relationship Fourteen Rules for Consideration
1. The man is the head of household (HOH) in a Domestic Discipline relationship.
2. The woman needs a man who provides strength, love and kindness while he also provides:
A. Structure
B. Guidance
C. Authority
D. Coaching
3. A Domestic Discipline (DD) relationship requires that the man carefully recognize and understand the human characteristics, traits, sensitivity, behaviors, temperament, needs, habits, female anatomy, physical and mental health and wellness, and the personality of his partner in order for him to appropriately combine a reasonable balance between the items listed in # 2 above along with the necessary tool of setting a strict set of conditions, rules and consequences that are enforced by the man whenever that balancing needs calibration.
4. The consequences are designed for maintaining that calibrated balance to enhance the foundation and building of that relationship.
5. The foundation and building of that relationship becomes stronger when the following three primary principles are present and are appropriately maintained in the relationship:
A. Effective Communication Skills
B. Respect
C. Trust
6. When the three primary principles in # 5 above are effectively in place and maintained parallel to the elements of appropriate balancing and calibration listed in # 3 above, both partners are able to successfully develop a nurtured long lasting relationship.
7. When a nurtured and lasting relationship enfolds into love and happiness, each partner will learn to cherish that relationship with all things considered.
8. The man’s role in a Domestic Discipline relationship is to hold all of this together; stay strong for his partner; and not allow anything to interfere with the intended goal of achieving the developed relationship.
9. The woman’s role is to support her man; and in so doing, she will learn to understand and accept what it takes to protect that developed relationship whenever her partner intervenes; sets reasonable conditions and rules; or has to calibrate the balance of all the elements listed in # 3 above by enforcing compliance of those conditions and rules and imposing punishment.
10. Appropriate punishment or the lingering threat of it is used to effectively restore and maintain compliance with the balance and calibration adjustments in the relationship.
11. Permanent injury or experiencing a traumatic event that instills fear for life and safety resulting from any form of excessive punishment or force is considered violence and is not acceptable in a Domestic Discipline relationship.
12. Besides corporal punishment, any form of reasonable discipline can be implemented in this lifestyle when it is appropriately used to achieve effective results and it does not pose any risk to the woman’s health or safety.
13. Restraints and other tools or equipment may be used in the application of punishment or discipline when mutual consent and agreement has been approved by both partners. Three safe words such as “Yellow = pause”, “Red = Stop that activity”, or “Black = All done” should be agreed upon before using any type of restraint or while inflicting any level of pain beyond what is considered to be at or above moderate tolerance levels.
14. In a highly structured relationship, the man sets the reasonable conditions, rules and consequences.

It's been 2 months since we broke up and I moved across the country. I've been so sad that I haven't been able to write anything. I just wanted to let my few followers know that I havent forgotten about this blog. I still read the blogs I'm following. Im starting a new chapter in life and hope to find another domestic discipline relationship... but for now I'm just trying to figure out the day to day. I'm still greiving.

Staying out of Trouble

So since we have started the new house rules and discipline arrangement I have, for the most part managed to stay out of trouble. My chores have gotten done on time every day, even the days when I had other errands to do. This is not so much because I am afraid to get the five promised smacks if I don't do one of the chores, but because I know that if I should repeat the offense, by not doing that chore again, I will get ten smacks and the third time fifteen and so on. I really don't want to start the multiplication process. I have managed to stop talking back, at least after the first warning. I do not feel the need to brat anymore or to test his resolve. I am certain that if I break a rule, I will be disciplined. At this point my motivation to behave properly is the fear of consequences. I have not yet reached the point where my desire to behave is based on my desire to be submissive, perhaps there will come a day.

The letter, our agreement

Well, he got around to reading my letter. His only comment was that he didn't think five strokes was enough, but that we would give it a try. So today I have chores that I will get done as my part of our agreement. It's pretty easy in the beginning to get all of my chores done, it's after some time that I let things start to slide. He has added that I clean out the refrigerator today, which I've been meaning to do anyway. I have a habit, that I inherited from my mother, where I just shove things into the fridge wherever they fit without much thought, and I save every bit of leftover food. It doesn't take long for the fridge to become an unorganized mess of bad leftovers mixed with new groceries and whatever I'm looking for is somehow invisible until I look for something else, then whatever I was looking for suddenly appears before my very eyes. So not much to report at this point except that we are going to "give it a try". That, and the fact that I just realized I broke a rule last night, I smoked inside the house. I had forgotten about our new agreement. So, today I will at some point confess, and if he sees fit I will submit to his discipline. I know that this isn't a very good start. It truly didn't occur to me until this morning, that I had broken a rule. I am going to print out the rules and put them on the fridge by my chore list, perhaps that will help me to remember.

Topping from the Bottom

I am really trying not to top from the bottom, that's why I left him alone about DD for more than 2 years. The problem is that his idea of a memorable spanking for me is more like a thrashing and I just can't stay in position, which is disrespectful and makes him understandably angry. I'm really just trying to compromise with him on the number of strokes I get for breaking a rule, I want to be submissive and I want to stay in position for him. I hate when he walks away from spanking me and he's still angry because he had to fight with me to do it. I can't blame him for being angry, and I feel even more guilty than before he spanked me. He does like being in charge and running the household and he's very good at it, and I am very thankful that I have such a wonderful man. I'm just trying to get the discipline part right, without topping from the bottom. His alternative is just to not spank me at all, which really doesn't work. We've never had written rules that I was supposed to follow. Pretty much all I ever got spanked for was having a smart mouth or being insolent. I am asking him for more structure with slightly less severe punishments. He still hasn't read the letter so I can make changes if it's really not expressing what I wanted it to.

He doesn't know it's called DD

This was originally a response to a comment but I thought it made more sense to have as a blog post,so I'm sorry if you've already read this but here it is as it's own post...


I guess the thing is that I don't even think he knows it is called DD. I have always wanted to be spanked and craved the discipline. I found LDD and CDD (I'm not Cristian however) and it was exactly what I was looking for. I wrote him a letter 4 years ago asking him to spank when he thought it was necessary or if my behaviour was not up to his standards. All he said was okay. It sarted out more erotic than punishment. I purchased a couple of straps and a paddle shortly after the spankings took on more of a punishment feeling. I have asked him to read the LDD book and left laying around the house for him to find hoping he would get curious. He still hasn't read the book. I guess since he was disciplining me I just left him alone about it to do as he saw fit. It's just not quite right where I want it to be. I think hes backed off on it because he didn't see the type of improvement he was looking for. I had e-mailed him excerpts from the web site back in the begining and that helped a lot. SO now I'm trying again to get him back into it, until yesterday it had been almost 3 months since he spanked me because I was angry with him about the way he spanked me the last time. I'm trying to figure all this out and figure out a way to get what I need. Sorry this reply to your comment was so long, it sort of took on a life of it's own. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it really helps me to figure all this out.