I keep reading blogs where women discuss the transformation that their husbands have gone through to be HOH. I don't think W went through any changes, he was always authoratative and a bit commanding. Other than spanking me instead of yelling at me I'm not so sure he went through much change at all, but I wonder if I'm wrong. Just thinking out loud. On another note, I was submissive for the most part. Right now I really feel like DD was almost natural for us, maybe he made it that way...
Welcome to the neighborhood. It's nice to find a new blogger. Sounds like you and W are just finding your way in your DD relationship. Yet you said that you have been living this way for four years. Did you stop for awhile? Just wondering.
ReplyDeleteI have read each of your posts and think you are doing great in your ability to communicate with W. The letter you wrote him was how I would have done things at the beginning. Emails are a wonderful thing. Eventually I was able to move onto talking about my wants and needs in person. Its nicer that way.
It sounds like W is pretty much HoH material already. You are lucky that way. If the punishments are too much at times perhaps a safeword would be in order. Just a thought.
I wish you both good luck on your journey into TTWD. And I look forward to reading more.
Janet
Thank you Janet for sharing your thoughts. W and I have been up and down with DD. For a while we did not live together but DD was strong and then there was a period of time in the begining when the discipline wasn't hard enough. I have at times talked to him about what I need but I think mostly I told him what I wanted and then I let him take over, which was good and bad. He's a great HoH but not always a great disciplinarian. When the punishments became too much I became resentful and I didn't think I had a right to tell him how to discipline. As I voiced my resent he backed off but was angry with me. I haven't been disciplined since April, we are still working on DD.
ReplyDeleteNbN, I hear so many conflicting feelings coming from you about how dd is going for you two. It sounds as though you're in a different place than many of us. I hope that you're able to work through those conflicts and bring harmony and agreement into your marriage.
ReplyDeleteI guess the thing is that I don't even think he knows it is called DD. I have always wanted to be spanked and craved the discipline. I found LDD and CDD (I'm not Cristian however) and it was exactly what I was looking for. I wrote him a letter 4 years ago asking him to spank when he thought it was necessary or if my behaviour was not up to his standards. All he said was okay. It sarted out more erotic than punishment. I purchased a couple of straps and a paddle shortly after the spankings took on more of a punishment feeling. I have asked him to read the LDD book and left laying around the house for him to find hoping he would get curious. He still hasn't read the book. I guess since he was disciplining me I just left him alone about it to do as he saw fit. It's just not quite right where I want it to be. I think hes backed off on it because he didn't see the type of improvement he was looking for. I had e-mailed him excerpts from the web site back in the begining and that helped a lot. SO now I'm trying again to get him back into it, until yesterday it had been almost 3 months since he spanked me because I was angry with him about the way he spanked me the last time. I'm trying to figure all this out and figure out a way to get what I need. Sorry this reply to your comment was so long, it sort of took on a life of it's own. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it really helps me to figure all this out.
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