This was originally a response to a comment but I thought it made more sense to have as a blog post,so I'm sorry if you've already read this but here it is as it's own post...
I guess the thing is that I don't even think he knows it is called DD. I have always wanted to be spanked and craved the discipline. I found LDD and CDD (I'm not Cristian however) and it was exactly what I was looking for. I wrote him a letter 4 years ago asking him to spank when he thought it was necessary or if my behaviour was not up to his standards. All he said was okay. It sarted out more erotic than punishment. I purchased a couple of straps and a paddle shortly after the spankings took on more of a punishment feeling. I have asked him to read the LDD book and left laying around the house for him to find hoping he would get curious. He still hasn't read the book. I guess since he was disciplining me I just left him alone about it to do as he saw fit. It's just not quite right where I want it to be. I think hes backed off on it because he didn't see the type of improvement he was looking for. I had e-mailed him excerpts from the web site back in the begining and that helped a lot. SO now I'm trying again to get him back into it, until yesterday it had been almost 3 months since he spanked me because I was angry with him about the way he spanked me the last time. I'm trying to figure all this out and figure out a way to get what I need. Sorry this reply to your comment was so long, it sort of took on a life of it's own. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it really helps me to figure all this out.
NN:
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like W has been under a lot of pressure about this DD thing. Not only does he have to break through psychological barriers but also, quite possibly, fears of inadequacy. You may have over-detailed your desires. To him it really feels like you're HoH. It's called "topping from the bottom". It causes DD to implode.
Apologize.
And then when you're up to it, express your need to him in a tender face to face, heart to heart talk. Let him know that you are leaving the final decision and methods, if he chooses Dd, all up to him. Don't bother him about it anymore. Be yourself. Live your life with him. And if DD shows up (and I think it will) all the better.