My submission as it is right now

I've always known that I wanted to be with a man that was a strong leader. The man I chose is naturally dominant and I am somewhat naturally submissive. I have no problem asking him if wants something to eat or drink, or another drink. I fix his plate and bring him everything he needs or asks for (that doesn't mean he never gets anything for himself, it's just that I do it most of the time) and it's not because I have to, it just comes naturally to me. I often answer any direct question with "yes Sir" or "no Sir". Not because he asked me to it just seemed appropriate. And yet I find that I am not as submissive as I should be, and hes not exactly living up to my definition of HOH. The chores aren't getting done and there seem to be no consequences and I find that as a result of him not following through I am provoking him into spanking me. I know that this is not submissive, but what am I supposed to do when he isn't holding me accountable for what I'm not doing?